Saturday, August 13, 2011

It's only an island...

Definition of irony: Noun: The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

Irony rears its ugly comic head in my life all the time. I never planned to have kids...and I have four. I never planned to have to use a computer...and I'm rarely away from  mine for more than 6 hours. I have a degree in business...but God wants me to help people have babies.

This latest twist is making me look at life in a whole new way, though. Since I was about 10 my favorite movie has been Jaws. I love EVERYTHING about this movie. It is the best movie ever made in my not so humble opinion. It is the ultimate story of man overcoming his fears to accomplish a goal. Best line in the whole movie (and my philosophy on life) is what Brody says when Hooper asks him how a guy who hates the water can live on an island. His reply?

It's only an island if you look at it from the water.

Seriously? How DEEP is that? It's all in how you look at things. If a problem looks insurmountable, look at it from a different direction. 

But I digress...So because of this whole Jaws obsession, I have often joked that it is written into my contract that I don't go to the sharks' office and they don't come to mine. I'm just not a beach girl. That being said, I DO think it is a beautiful place and I greatly enjoy a frosty adult beverage while sitting by the pool or in an air conditioned condo LOOKING at the beach. I just don't want to go into the ocean. At. All.

This is a conundrum for many of my friends. They go on cruises and feel bad for not inviting me. Not a problem...I don't want to go. The sharks WILL find me. The mere planning of a beach vacation on my part brings about stories of shark attacks in the very city I was planning to visit. As a result, I spend a lot of time alone during the summer while my friends are off enjoying the sand and surf.

Now for the irony: The man with whom I have been spending a great deal of my time wants to live on an island.

Does this mean that he is not "the one" for me? No. I really don't think so. What I think is that God wants me to abandon the fear that has held me back for so long. Not just the fear of the ocean and the creatures that live in the depths, but the fear of relationships and of leaving my life in Columbus. I feel "safe" here and that isn't necessarily a desirable state for growth. I want to grow. I want to experience all that life has to offer. I want to live the life that God wants for me. Even if that means catching babies on an island somewhere.

After all, once I'm ON the's just land with some water nearby!

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