Friday, January 2, 2009

The Notebook...Computer

I was talking to Niki last night and we were discussing how some people are concerned with the quantity of pictures of ourselves that we have amassed. Seems like some people think that it's because we suffer from low self esteem or have no self respect because we share pictures of each other with friends.

Well of course my first response was... Why does it matter to you? What effect does my having a lot of pictures of myself have on your life? It must be nice to have your life so well organized and taken care of that little things like how many pictures another person sends out can affect your mood. I mean... one must be pretty together and have very little to worry about if I'm on their radar right?

Then I thought... Wait a minute. Don't people with low self esteem hide from pictures? I post them because I think they look good, not because I think I'm ugly or fat or whatever. I think that I probably have a little too much self esteem if anything. LOL I certainly have more than the average person. WAY more than people my size usually do!

I've always said that this picture thing started when I realized I was turning 40. I never thought I'd get this old. Seriously. I didn't think I'd make 30 either though so... But right before I turned 40 I got to thinking that I'd better take some pictures so I can remember what I looked like when I wasn't old. (Because 40 is old! LOL)

So then...when I started taking the pictures with the phone and figured out how to get them on the computer, taking them all the time became second nature. If I'm having a good hair day or have done something with my makeup that I want to remember...I'll take a picture. Or if I'm having a good time and want to remember it forever...I'll take a picture.

The reason the pics are of me and not of everything around me is twofold. One is because it's a phone people. It doesn't take good pictures from farther away than an arms length. It's not even a GOOD phone like Jo's! You get what you get with phone pics. And since I was raised at Olan Mills, my head automatically cocks a little to the side and tilts forward whenever I see a camera. And the other reason is that because with all the crap I've been through, I need to be able to look back and say "See? You CAN be happy! You DO know how!"

So anyway...I said to Niki "When I am older and more demented than I am now, will you bring my laptop and show me pictures every day to try and remind me that I used to be your friend?" I told her that every day she can bring the pictures and read me the emails and tell me about this girl who loved being around people and who liked to laugh and smile. And when it finally dawns on me that this girl she's talking about is me I will throw my hands up in the air and shout "Woo Hoo!!" because I will have remembered that deep down I am a "Woo Hoo Girl!"
I think I should get cardio points for how long we laughed about it. Definitely worth 10 crunches because my stomach was aching from the laughter. But it felt good. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact... If I hadn't been on the phone with her? I'd have taken a picture of it.

So tell me? What are you doing to remember this time in your life? Edie Brickell sang it "Good times bad times give me some of that"

Live a little. And take some pictures. I want to see!