Monday, October 10, 2011

Losing Big

So last week something big happened. My first number changed. For those of you who haven't ever had a struggle with weight issues, that's what happens when you cross over a huge moving from the 200s to the 100s. And believe me when I tell you that it is a MONUMENTAL deal for me!!

I wasn't always heavy. People who know me now sometimes have a hard time understanding that. Heck even my KIDS don't understand that! When I had my first three kids I was practically thin. After my third kid was born, I weighed maybe 130.

Then I got a depo provera injection. That stuff is evil mean and nasty. Seriously. I'm convinced that the reason it works as birth control is that no one wants to come within 10 feet of you for fear of you stabbing them with a shiv. Plus, it makes some of us gain weight like CRAZY fast. In the first three months I put on an extra 50lbs. The second three months...maybe another 25. But if you're doing the math you can see that it was enough to push me over into the 200s.

I tried WW and lost about 20lbs but I just wasn't motivated happy enough to keep going. So the weight kept creeping on. Then I had the baby and positioned myself solidly at the 250 mark. BTW...He is 11 now so there is no excuse for "baby weight" anymore. I think I topped out at 277 but to be honest...I really stopped weighing myself. Just didn't want to know.

Then something changed. I moved on from the unhealthy relationship that I had with my former spouse. We had been divorced for this entire century (you can stop doing the math now) but had remained an integral part of one anothers' lives for various reasons. Our co-dependency was bad and it hindered our relationships with other people. Once I moved out of his house (even though it was to a friend's couch) I was able to start the healing process which allowed me (and him!) to start forming normal bonds with others.

I met a guy...not the right guy...who showed me what I wanted from a relationship. To start with he was funny and sweet and cute and said and did all the right things. I would say that he was a class A jerk but that's not fair to him. He had his own issues and I hope that I did some things to help him trust the next woman he gets involved with. I wish him no ill will. Plus...he helped me to get past some of my own demons.

Then I moved back home and started trying to eat healthier for my dad's sake. I was trying to get him to eat more because of his cancer, and because I was cooking on a regular basis I started eating more (ironic isn't it?) and started noticing that my clothes fit better. Apparently I had been wrecking my metabolism for years by NOT eating when I should and NOT eating enough calories in a day. See what stress will do for you??

Skip forward a couple of months to last fall and I joined a Growth Group and met Rebecca Means. Let me tell you...asking her to be my weight loss buddy was the smartest thing I ever ever EVER did!! She is SO motivated and on it and inspirational and...I just did my best to keep up. When most people would have dumped me off for not being as motivated, she stayed on me. In a nice way of course! She encouraged me and prayed for me and picked me up when I needed a ride. No way was she going to let the price of gas get in the way of me accomplishing my goals.

Also, and this is another one of those crazy ironic things, I started selling Tastefully Simple. You would THINK that being surrounded by food and talking about food and sharing food with others all the time, would make a person gain weight and not lose! But I'm here to tell you that has not been the case! First of all...the stuff tastes so so SOOO good that you don't feel the need to gorge yourself on it to feel satisfied. Second, I get so excited about trying out new seasonings that I am eating better/more/healthier recipes and that is helping a lot. If you need further proof...Rebecca is my BEST customer and has lost more weight than I have this year. LOL

SO here's the breakdown: I haven't weighed under 200lbs since 1996...before my mom died. If you met me in the last 15 years (and the vast majority of you reading this did) then you've never seen me this size before. If you knew me in the beforetime...say high school or're probably glad I'm getting back to my old self.

I can promise you that this is not over. It is a slow going process. There are no quick fixes. And I have to keep this up for the rest of my life. But here's the thing...I can do it with your support. And if you are trying to do it, then you have MY support. Just keep me in the loop. Keep praying for me and I'll keep praying for you and together we can make this thing happen.

Keep it healthy...