Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Woo Hoo Girls

This blog post came from January 2, 2009 and was originally titled "The Notebook...Computer" I changed the title to "The Woo Hoo Girls" mainly so a friend could find it easily, but also because this post was the beginning of a great concept that I had for a women's group. It may STILL wind up being a Growth Group one day!

I was talking to Niki last night and we were discussing how some people are concerned with the quantity of pictures of ourselves that we have amassed. Seems like some people think that it's because we suffer from low self esteem or have no self respect because we share pictures of each other with friends.
Well of course my first response was... Why does it matter to you? What effect does my having a lot of pictures of myself have on your life? It must be nice to have your life so well organized and taken care of that little things like how many pictures another person sends out can affect your mood. I mean... one must be pretty together and have very little to worry about if I'm on their radar right?

Then I thought... Wait a minute. Don't people with low self esteem hide from pictures? I post them because I think they look good, not because I think I'm ugly or fat or whatever. I think that I probably have a little too much self esteem if anything. LOL I certainly have more than the average person. WAY more than people my size usually do!

I've always said that this picture thing started when I realized I was turning 40. I never thought I'd get this old. Seriously. I didn't think I'd make 30 either though so... But right before I turned 40 I got to thinking that I'd better take some pictures so I can remember what I looked like when I wasn't old. (Because 40 is old! LOL)

So then...when I started taking the pictures with the phone and figured out how to get them on the computer, taking them all the time became second nature. If I'm having a good hair day or have done something with my makeup that I want to remember...I'll take a picture. Or if I'm having a good time and want to remember it forever...I'll take a picture.

The reason the pics are of me and not of everything around me is twofold. One is because it's a phone people. It doesn't take good pictures from farther away than an arms length. It's not even a GOOD phone like Jo's! You get what you get with phone pics. And since I was raised at Olan Mills, my head automatically cocks a little to the side and tilts forward whenever I see a camera. And the other reason is that because with all the crap I've been through, I need to be able to look back and say "See? You CAN be happy! You DO know how!"

So anyway...I said to Niki "When I am older and more demented than I am now, will you bring my laptop and show me pictures every day to try and remind me that I used to be your friend?" I told her that every day she can bring the pictures and read me the emails and tell me about this girl who loved being around people and who liked to laugh and smile. And when it finally dawns on me that this girl she's talking about is me I will throw my hands up in the air and shout "Woo Hoo!!" because I will have remembered that deep down I am a "Woo Hoo Girl!"

I think I should get cardio points for how long we laughed about it. Definitely worth 10 crunches because my stomach was aching from the laughter. But it felt good. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact... If I hadn't been on the phone with her? I'd have taken a picture of it.

So tell me? What are you doing to remember this time in your life? Edie Brickell sang it "Good times bad times give me some of that"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ8muQ0PMJU

Live a little. And take some pictures. I want to see!

Things I Can't Say To You...

This post originally appeared on my blog on Dec 4, 2005. Anything that seems relevant to anything going on today...isn't. I just wanted to revisit some ideas and this was one of them. So don't go getting all angst-ridden over this text. They're just words. LOL

Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? Let me tell you what I think it is. I think that loving someone is unconditional and there's nothing you can do about it. People fall "in" and "out" of love all the time. But when you really love someone it doesn't go away.
You can love someone but not be "in love" with them. Does that make sense? You love your parents. You're not "in love" with them. See the difference?
Shouldn't we love people? Isn't that a good thing? Why then, does it get to be so stressful? Why does it cause pain to love someone? Why does it hurt to look at someone and want to tell them how you feel about them?
You should be able to tell people that you love them without them freaking out right? Or is it that people don't understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?
And here's the other thing... You can't pick who you love. There. I said it. Sometimes you love people that don't love you back. And sometimes you love people that you wouldn't otherwise have any relationship with. And sometimes people don't feel like you should love the person you love. Maybe that gets back to that whole difference between love and "in love" thing?
Why do we let it bother us? Why does it matter what anyone thinks about how we feel about someone? Why can't we love who we want to love?
Most importantly, why does it make some people feel bad to be loved? I'm sure it's because they feel guilty for not loving the person back. But why? Again... Because they feel that they don't understand that, while it takes two people to be "in love", love is singular. It doesn't take two people.
So if someone looks uncomfortable and you want to know why...maybe it's because they want to tell you they love you but they know you don't want to hear it. And they feel bad because they know that by doing the very thing that would  take the pressure off their minds and their hearts, that they'd be making you feel bad. And that making you feel bad is the very last thing in the world that they'd ever want to do.