Things I Can't Say To You...

This post originally appeared on my blog on Dec 4, 2005. Anything that seems relevant to anything going on today...isn't. I just wanted to revisit some ideas and this was one of them. So don't go getting all angst-ridden over this text. They're just words. LOL

Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? Let me tell you what I think it is. I think that loving someone is unconditional and there's nothing you can do about it. People fall "in" and "out" of love all the time. But when you really love someone it doesn't go away.

 

You can love someone but not be "in love" with them. Does that make sense? You love your parents. You're not "in love" with them. See the difference?

 

Shouldn't we love people? Isn't that a good thing? Why then, does it get to be so stressful? Why does it cause pain to love someone? Why does it hurt to look at someone and want to tell them how you feel about them?

 

You should be able to tell people that you love them without them freaking out right? Or is it that people don't understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?

 

And here's the other thing... You can't pick who you love. There. I said it. Sometimes you love people that don't love you back. And sometimes you love people that you wouldn't otherwise have any relationship with. And sometimes people don't feel like you should love the person you love. Maybe that gets back to that whole difference between love and "in love" thing?

 

Why do we let it bother us? Why does it matter what anyone thinks about how we feel about someone? Why can't we love who we want to love?

 

Most importantly, why does it make some people feel bad to be loved? I'm sure it's because they feel guilty for not loving the person back. But why? Again... Because they feel that they don't understand that, while it takes two people to be "in love", love is singular. It doesn't take two people.

 

So if someone looks uncomfortable and you want to know why...maybe it's because they want to tell you they love you but they know you don't want to hear it. And they feel bad because they know that by doing the very thing that would  take the pressure off their minds and their hearts, that they'd be making you feel bad. And that making you feel bad is the very last thing in the world that they'd ever want to do.