Thursday, May 7, 2009

Giving Birth Again

If you know me at all you know two things about me:

I'm passionate about childbirth.

I'm a procrastinator.

Here's my thought for the day...There's a reason that we are pregnant for so long. It takes time for the baby to mature and to get to a place where it can live on it's own. It starts out small and we nurture it as it grows and gets bigger and becomes a fully functional human being. That's the easy part though. While we're pregnant the baby is our's to bear. No one else can do anything to make it turn out the way it's supposed to so we have full responsibility.

As soon as we give birth though....we have to share. We can't do it alone no matter how hard we try or like to think we'll be able. After the baby is a fully formed entity we have to trust that we've chosen the right people to help us help this baby realize it's full potential. And I gotta tell you... that's a SCARY thought for a mom!

So here I sit listening to 80 YouTube clips in a row of Jason Mraz. (Yeah I'm a little obsessed. He's TALENTED though!) I'm sitting here listening to this playlist and writing this blog and avoiding what I should actually be doing. I'm supposed to be working on this paper for school that is the fourth part of my plan/proposal for a new business.

The problem with writing this paper is that the closer I get to being done with this paper, the more I get written down about this business, the more real it becomes. Frankly that kind of scares me. Having it inside and thinking about it is one thing. Actually doing it is a completely different story.

The comparison to childbirth is a very real one. I'm afraid that once I put this down on paper that I will fail this child that I've nurtured inside for so long. What if my procrastination can't overcome my passion? What if I can't make others understand how this is more than just a business to me?

I've had this business in my head...and my heart...for at least 12 years. It's in my blood and all part of the bigger plan of eventually becoming a midwife. I can't let it down. Much like I want my children to succeed and grow and become all that they can be, I want this business to grow and prosper and touch people's lives. Monetary gain is essential of course but also I need for this business to make a difference.

So I think it's time to start working on the paper. I feel some contractions coming. I've got my relaxing music on. I'm through the nose...out through the mouth. No matter how many times you give birth though there's always some pain but the hard work is SO worth it. Hopefully giving birth to this paper...and eventually this business...will be just as rewarding.

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